the elegant lifestyle

Why I’m Still Proud to Promote Grace & Poise

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As I scrolled through the evening news on my local news website, a particular headline caught my attention.  My interest usually falls short of the modern celebrity and their antics but this time I decided to flick across and see what all the comotion was about.

What I saw was nothing short of distasteful and repulsive.  If you’ve read the news today, no doubt you’ve already seen the images of Miley Cyrus’s performace at the MTV Awards.  If it made your jaw drop, take comfort in the fact that Rihanna, Will Smith (and his family), Nick Cannon and a handful of other celebrities were also among the shocked and stunned audience who rather vehemently exposed their thoughts via Twitter.  I don’t feel any need to discuss what  viewers witnessed but I am reminded that Miley herself is only one year younger than I am – just twenty years old!  Yet she is an example of a young woman who exemplifies everything opposite to what we promote here at Grace & Poise.

It is with this example in mind that, if I could, for a moment take you back to the year 2007: I was 16 years old.  It was in the early months of January 2007 that my curiosity for an elegant life began to blossom.  I remember quite vividly a conversation I had with my mother one summer’s afternoon, sharing with her my longing for mentor who I could look up to that held the qualities of a elegant and graceful woman.  Although such women were far-and-few between at that stage in my life I began to take a great interest in the style, elegance and poise of Mary, the Crown Princess of Denmark.

If you have been following Grace & Poise for a few years you’ll have noticed that Princess Mary is featured quite frequently on this blog during those early years.  Although, I’m yet to have the privilege of meeting her in person, I learned so much from her via newspaper interviews: her style, her elegance in difficult situations, her calm yet optimistic view on life.  These values taught me so much and were encouraged by my mother who was delighted to watch me grow into a woman who desired these qualities.

It was with great interest that I searched the internet for websites that encouraged women to cultivate such qualities.  My search proved unfruitful.  I found it difficult to find any real, practical inspiration on such topics.  I wondered… “surely I can’t be the only girl to desire such qualities in her life?”  Perhaps there were other young girls and women around the world who pursed such a lifestyle?  And that is when Grace & Poise was born… Out of young, humble roots came a little blog about a girl on a pursuit of a more poised, elegant and feminine life.

But this interest in an elegant life, was rather unique in the fact that few of my friends grasped my vision.  When I shared with a handful of them my dreams of one day possessing this ladylike elegance and femininity I was presented with harsh responses.  Some criticized me for the pictures I used, others mocked me for trying to be ladylike and yet others teased me with jealous remarks.

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Yet here we are: 6 years on and still going strong. Those that previously mocked, criticized and teased me have now confessed their admiration of the fruits this blog has produced.  Sometimes, I look back and see how far I’ve grown but other times I feel like I’ve only just begun.

The term ‘grace and poise‘ no longer resembles simply the way I walk or how I eat at the dinner table but it has extended into a lifestyle of graceful composure and elegant living.   Yet, I don’t think I’ll ever reach a destination where I feel like I can resemble ‘elegance’ or have fully attained ‘poise’ but I believe through the challenges that life gives – I’ll continue my journey…

It is because of this very personal experience that I turn to these pages and share with you.  That despite the sex-obsessed, raunchy world we live in, as Miley Cyrus so aptly displayed tonight –  I’m still proud to promote grace & poise.

Enjoyed this post?  Why not follow me on Twitter or join me on Facebook or pin with me?
Thank you for stopping by!
xx

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21 Comments

  • Reply
    Zakiya
    August 26, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    This I LOVE and I could not agree with you more. Continue promoting the finer points of womanhood and life for they will ALWAYS be eternal. #queenlyandconfident

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 3:18 pm

      Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement, Zakiya! xx

  • Reply
    Jay
    August 26, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    As a man, who was sent the link to this post by the lady in my life – I simply want to express my thanks to you for swimming against the tide of effluent that is popular culture and promoting a thing of rare beauty and dignity to women of all ages. It is never to late to change course and be a better person, and you are a bright light in rough seas calling us all, men and women, to our better natures. Thank you most sincerely.

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 3:22 pm

      Jay, lovely to have a male voice on the blog! Thank you for your thoughts. It’s gentleman like you that inspire women to continue to cultivate our feminine virtues! I truly believe that whatever your age, culture, occupation may be in life – you can still create a positive impact by possessing ladylike characteristics! Thank you for visiting!

  • Reply
    Zakiya
    August 26, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Reblogged this on Lifestyles of the Queenly and Confident and commented:
    Inspite of what we saw at last night’s #VMAs #ladylike STILL rocks! #queenlyandconfident

  • Reply
    Angel Nicholas
    August 26, 2013 at 3:58 pm

    I confess I’ve only seen a very brief clip of Miley onstage, but I have no desire to pursue the subject further. Our culture is rife with debauchery and everything that is the opposite of every manner of refinement. It saddens and ocassionally infuriates me as I see the impact on my children. Your blog is a small oasis reassuring me that I’m not alone in my feelings or in how I choose to live my life. Keep up the wonderful work. 🙂

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 10:23 pm

      Angel, I think you’re opinion is much like that of others when they first saw Miley’s performance onstage last night. Even Miley’s mother has spoken out against her daughter’s performance.

      Don’t ever loose hope on your children’s choices. It is comments like the one below (written by Tabitha) that remind us that even though some of us may make the wrong choices when we are younger – there is always an opportunity to turn around and start again.

      Thanks for visiting. xx

  • Reply
    Tabitha is Inspired By Giving
    August 26, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Clare,
    A much needed response to an unfortunately common theme among young women in our age. I can relate to your commitment to honoring modesty, respect and dignity not just in the way we dress but the way we act and treat others. As a former rebellious teenager I myself had season’s of life where I didn’t respect myself enough to cover up or to act in a way that honored who I knew I was on the inside. I fell victim to the idea that the way I dressed would define how I felt on the inside when in reality it was a cry for help. A desire to be loved and noticed. What young women are being taught is that it’s okay to push the envelope and bare themselves literally as an outward expression of freedom. Unfortunately, it looks to me like there are many underlying issues in this particular case but it’s also our society that says it’s okay to be everything but the opposite. As a mother of two young girls I would hope that I can teach them by action and word that Grace and Poise are still modern ideas, not staunchy,old fashioned concepts. Thank you for your commitment in honoring them; that is Grace & Poise and by virtue all the young women exposed to that commitment.

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      Tabitha,
      Thank you for sharing your experience! An refined, elegant lifestyle is not ‘hip’ or ‘cool’ but what so many young people (ladies, in particular) are yet to understand is the fact that being ‘hip’ or ‘cool’ doesn’t make you happy… On the contrary it will, more often than not put you in the company of those who disrespect such values.

      I have no doubt that you will be a great inspiration to your girls. Because it was my mother who first inspired me to pursue a life of elegance and grace…

      You’re right! True elegance has nothing to do with being stuffy or stuck up but it is everything opposite: kind, gentle, caring, respectful, secure and poised in every situation life throws at you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! xx

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    August 26, 2013 at 4:35 pm

    Clare, thanks for your effort, I believe in exactly the same things as you, I’m a mom of a 10 year-old girl, a 9 year-old boy and an 8 year-old girl. And I really want them to have grace and poise, my girls as girls and my boy as boys and, of course, myself too. Keep going, It’s a beautiful inspiring blog.

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 10:13 pm

      Anonymous,
      You have a wonderful opportunity with the opportunity to shape young people’s future… I know that it was by my mother’s encouragement that I continued my search for an elegant lifestyle! Keep up the great work! xx

  • Reply
    Lillibethr
    August 26, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Yes, please do keep up the good work!

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 10:11 pm

      Thanks, Lillibethr! I shall! 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    August 26, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    Hello Clare,

    I am a French twenty-four years old student and I often look forward to your new posts with great anticipation because they inspire me so much. So keep up the good work, you are perfectly right: there’s nothing to be ashamed of for promoting elegance, grace and poise in every aspect of life 🙂

    Stay strong 🙂

    Love,

    Aude

    • Reply
      Clare
      August 26, 2013 at 10:10 pm

      Hi Aude, I’m thrilled to hear that you enjoy reading Grace & Poise and aspire to such a lifestyle yourself! Thanks for stopping by… xx

  • Reply
    Aude
    August 26, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    Hello Clare,

    I am a French twenty-four years old student and I often look forward to your new posts because they inspire me so much! So keep up the good work and you’re perfectly right: there’s nothing to be ashamed of for promoting elegance, grace an dpoise un every aspect of life 🙂

    Stay strong 🙂

    Love,

    Aude

  • Reply
    Brandi
    August 27, 2013 at 12:43 am

    Thank you so much for writing. I am a mom of a 4 year old and 1 year old, yet I am only 24 myself. I worry so much about two girls growing up in a society that lacks all morals. It is hard being a young mom trying to obtain grace and poise, while also having to teach it. I appreciate women like yourself that remind me I am not in this fight a lone.

  • Reply
    peacegirl2020
    August 27, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    beautifully written.

  • Reply
    Chris Cox
    September 10, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Keep fighting the good fight!!

    • Reply
      Clare
      September 10, 2013 at 1:58 pm

      Thank you, Chris!

  • Reply
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