- “The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it.”-Diana Vreeland
Welcome to our second series for What Makes a Woman a Lady.
I’ve especially chosen this topic for the very reason that femininity, as a characteristic, forms a very integral part of the woman. If we were to strip away the exterior of a woman – her clothes, makeup, lifestyle and even her background we would still find that there is one characteristic you cannot take away – her femininity. It’s in her soul, her make up and simply ingrained in her very being. When we step back and look at the woman – that is every woman, irrespective of her race, culture, background – she is created so unique and divinely beautiful. Why not embrace this gift with a sense of pride and thankfulness?
When we Ponder for a moment the word “feminine“. What description comes to your mind? Every woman has a uniquely different and individual perspective on what includes “femininity”. For some it might be heels, summer dresses, and long tresses and for others it might be found in a practical pair of boots and a cowboy hat with long blonde pigtails. This is what makes femininity so fascinating to me as a woman. You can’t “brand” it. It’s unique and very much individual based. Interestingly enough, I do believe that even though there is not a specific set of rules of what defines “femininity” as a whole yet there are certain characteristics that help create the feminine woman.
Femininity in and of itself is made up of many elements. As I was researching the topic more deeply, I came to the realization that this characteristic virtually encompasses everything that this blog is about. It’s a part of a woman’s style, personality, appearance, how she carries herself. It stems from her outward look on life in general and her values and morals. Can a lady really be graceful and elegant without being feminine?
So today we are just going to cover a few essentials of how to increase your femininity in your day-to-day life. Keep your eyes peel for more posts on this topic!
The Importance of Pretty Time
My friend and mentor at WWNH has highlighted again and again the importance of “Pretty Time”. I believe this to be one of the most fundamental elements in creating the image of a feminine woman. We are all too used to seeing a the commonplace woman, for example shopping in the mall dressed like a slob – sweats, daggy hair with highlights outgrown, comfy ugg boots topped with thick lashings of eyeliner and mascara. Attractive? Adorable? Hardly.
From my own experience – it takes just the amount of time to pull on practical, attractive looking clothes as it is a hoodie and sweat pants. Try toning down the eyeliner and brush the mane. See the difference – in both how people perceive you and how you feel within yourself.
Guy sums in up: “Women are born convinced of their prettiness, but they do need daily and routine tune ups. A pleasant day starts for every woman when she satisfies herself that she looks pretty. After much practice and continual adjustments to stay up with whatever improves her appearance, she learns to satisfy herself easily. It opens the door to a pleasant life.”
Learn to Create Your own Happiness
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
It’s true. Long-term, deep, abiding happiness is the fruit of dedication and choice. Have you ever witness a young couple in the throes of young love, unmindful of the world around them – absolutely complete in their own happiness? But let us think of that older couple, when beauty and youth has faded – yet that quiet, abiding happiness and love is still visible and present in their lives? Trust me, I’m no scholar but it’s clearly visable that even through the good and the bad – they have both made the choice to love in both the good and bad times.
Well, I believe happiness is just like that – it’s being real and know that life won’t be a walk in the garden. An inspired writer once made a powerful reminder not to just look at the thorns and thistles in life but it’s about learning to see the roses among the thorns. Take time every day and throughout the day, to thank God for all that you’ve been given, to thank others for what they give you, to be grateful. I amazed at the difference it makes to my day when I wake up in the morning with a busy and sometimes stressful day ahead to take a moment to reflect on the amazing things that I’ve been given. For example, an overly cosy bed, sunbeams streaming through my window, fresh water from my kitchen tap, a delicious breakfast that awaits me, a family to love, owning my own car, and a good job awaiting my presence… and wait! That’s only just a snapshot! There is so much to appreciate and love. Yes, I understand you may not (and sometimes I don’t) have just a dreamy morning to wake up to – that’s not my point. Even if you have kids screaming, a husband already gone to work, a worn-out old car, and recently jobless – try pick one great thing. Then tomorrow pick two things and keep escalating. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes in your outlook on life in general.
An Impeccable Appearance
I can imagine a few chuckles coming from my readers. Is it possible? Me? Yes! Of course, it’s possible. A good appearance starts with perfect posture. As someone who is at a desk all day this is difficult and needs to be a constant reminder for me. Feel graceful with your posture. Relax but remain composed.
Take pride in being clean. Too often I rush my personal cleanliness routine. But recently I’ve taken 10 minutes each night to give myself time in my daily routine as it’s the basics of the end product in feeling and appearing attractive.
Shopping smart does not necessarily mean shopping overly expensive. Quality does make a difference but does not exceed your budget. Shop for what is in the rest of your wardrobe at home. Clean out your wardrobe routinely so old and worn-out clothes (that really don’t get worn anymore) can make space and de-clutter.
Remember that a clean, healthy, well kept, and vibrant appearance will reap dividends internally, personally, professionally, and socially. Everyone, whether they say it or not, will notice. For illustration, I work at a Law firm as the receptionist and I recently met up with another law firm’s receptionist. My work colleague has never made mention of my appearance before but upon meeting this young lady he was quick raise his eyebrow our differing appearances as she slouched on the waiting room sofa appearing rather bored and unkempt. Your posture, attitude, outlook and appearance will without a doubt make an difference – be it in your life or anothers!
Many, many thanks to Abigail O’Neil, Francesca Crippa and Nina for your thoughts.